I have spent too many years,
Staring into the mirror on the wall,
Which only magnifies the imperfection,
Back to my smiling face.
I have spent too many days,
Trying to be the pillar of optimism,
That keeps up the facade,
Even when everything is not okay.
I have spent too many nights,
Covering up my tears and pain,
With an insecurity blanket made
Of laughter and lies.
I have spent too many hours,
Watching those carefree girls who
Reflect the perfection of female beauty,
Which I will never have.
I have spent too much time,
Stepping up onto a scale,
Only to measure my inability
To succeed at the smallest goals.
I have spent almost nineteen years,
Living in this world,
And just now I am beginning to wonder,
If I have ever really lived at all.
– Kathryn Litzenberger