I have spent too many years,

Staring into the mirror on the wall,

Which only magnifies the imperfection,

Back to my smiling face.

I have spent too many days,

Trying to be the pillar of optimism,

That keeps up the facade,

Even when everything is not okay.

I have spent too many nights,

Covering up my tears and pain,

With an insecurity blanket made

Of laughter and lies.

I have spent too many hours, 

Watching those carefree girls who

Reflect the perfection of female beauty,

Which I will never have.

I have spent too much time, 

Stepping up onto a scale,

Only to measure my inability

To succeed at the smallest goals. 

I have spent almost nineteen years,

Living in this world,

And just now I am beginning to wonder, 

If I have ever really lived at all.

 Kathryn Litzenberger